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August 27, 2010
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THIS IS NOT NEWS by Lekonua THIS IS NOT NEWS by Lekonua
Remember when a news source, be it paper, magazine or TV/Radio broadcast, was a valuable tool for keeping the millions of citizens in this country informed of important events going on all over the world?

...

Nor do I.

China's got a new carrier-sinking missile? North Korea announces plans to nuke the US by next Thursday?*

WHO CARES! DID YOU HEAR SINGER X AND ACTOR Y ARE DATING NOW! OMG! OMG! OMG!

AND ACTOR Z GOT ARRESTED FOR DWI!

AND OBSCURE SPORTS PLAYER M SIGNED ON WITH EQUALLY OBSCURE SPORTS TEAM C!

AND SINGER A GOT CAUGHT WITH DRUG P!

AND ACTOR Q'S SON GOT ARRESTED FOR CRIME E!

AND FEMALE ACTOR R AND FEMALE ACTOR B WORE THE SAME DRESS AT SOME STUPID RED CARPET EVENT NOBODY'S HEARD OF UNTIL NOW!

AND BY THE TIME I FINISHED WRITING THIS, SINGER X AND ACTOR Y BROKE UP AND GOT BACK TOGETHER! TWICE!

This bullshit makes the news EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. Do you know what the word "news" means? From the English, "new," meaning "unique, original, without precedent."
IT MEANS SOMETHING HAPPENED TODAY THAT DIDN'T ALREADY HAPPEN 5 TIMES OVER THE COURSE OF THE WEEK!



*First one is actually true, second isn't. Not that anyone would take even the slightest bit of notice if it were announced on the same day that the New Twilight movie makes a cent more than the previous box office record holder.
:iconchupacabracadabra:
chupacabracadabra Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
Right on. This is exactly what I've been noticing. Exactly. If the Yahoo front page is considered a news source, then whoever created the first news source (Julius Cesar, I think), must be rolling in his grave.
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:iconzaru-kun:
Zaru-kun Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
LOLOLOLOL :iconmileycameplz:
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